Something is off. I don’t know what it is and I don’t know why things are happening the way that they are but I need a way out. I’m struggling with feeling whole again, feeling like I have purpose. My dog is dying before my very eyes and it’s something that I am trying to deal with. But I don’t know how. I feel he has a piece of me and I can’t get it back. He used to comfort me in ways no one else could because we had this unspoken understanding of one another. I’m in a new place now but I feel like I haven’t escaped anything. On the contrary, I feel like I walked right into the lion’s den. And I don’t want to be here but I need to be. I feel lost all over again. Fuck. Why me though? Why did I have to go through this life? Why was I born into a family that has never truly loved me , never stood by me through the worst of my times? Why am I losing myself as an artist ? So afraid to create, yet I’m so adamant about speaking through my art ? Is someone listening to me ? To my pain? God, do you have the answers for me ? I think we need to reconnect, it’s been a while since you and I have truly connected with one another. I can almost see you in my mind, looking down at me, waiting for me to just walk over to you and say, “Hey.”
I’m coming. I hear you loud and clear. You want me to pay you a visit. And I think I need you now more than ever to be my rock. I need to sort through the people that are in my life and figure out who is who. I need my safe space again because right now, I don’t have that safe space. And I’m afraid. Help.
Needing some help right about now,